I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
she looked like the before picture.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
She bit a glass in half.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
