its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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