32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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