worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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