My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
