It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
