that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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