Me too!
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
