omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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