I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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