I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
My dick has a subreddit
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
