C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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