Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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