just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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