party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
