I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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