I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
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