She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
