nut hugger
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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