This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I would fuck him just for his dog
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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