Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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