So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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