I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
