i already hear my dad disowning me
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
this is an emotional support booty call
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
