he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
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