Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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