oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I'm drive I can fine osifer
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
