I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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