I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
