Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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