We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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