farters have to be the big spoon...
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I just want nice things and good sex
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
