Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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