Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
