My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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