Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
