i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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