Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
