is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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