omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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