Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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