My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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