bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
