i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
