She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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