they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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