dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
