I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
