I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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