so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize