i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
