dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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