he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
