you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
