My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
