You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
