I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
