Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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