I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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