apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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