Don't you send me to vm
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
