I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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