so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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