the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
