I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
