I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
