Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I lost the right to judge tonight
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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