i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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