Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
She even gives head with a lisp.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
