Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
