hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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