ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
