we're making bets on your personal life
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
