he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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